Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.
Hope...what strong word that holds so much meaning.
We announced we were pregnant once again after our miscarriage in November. Baby boy is due in October 2017! Man, what emotions it brought to me to try and decide when to announce that. You may think I'm crazy because hello, I've shared everything else. But it just comes with such caution the more Billy and I have endured with this whole process. Caution isn't bad but there were times I was at a loss of words because of the fear I had allowed to build up. Instead of handing it all over to Him, I had taken it upon myself to shoulder all of my emotions and trying to wade through them. I had prayed and prayed for another opportunity to be a mother and yet here I was being so scared and literally feeling like I was shielding my eyes from looking up because I was so scared that this big lighting bolt was going to come down and strike us. Have you ever felt that way? That maybe you feel like you're walking around trying to avoid getting hit by something miserable again. Billy and I felt that way in many areas of our life in the last few years. Trials have come our way all along and trials don't discriminate as they hit everyone no matter who you are. I had a person tell me this year that the tragedies in our family keep piling up and that they just don't understand. Can I say I understand? Nope, I sure can't. Do I think God works everything out for the good of those who love Him? Yep, I sure do. Does it mean its easy to stomach some of the things that have happened? Nope, but I do have hope still.
Here we are...hoping! Hoping for a chance to get to hold this baby boy in another 5 months. Hoping for a new opportunity to be a family with a new healthy little one. Hoping that the things we have endured through everything that He is building us up to do great things for Him.
Please pray with us that if it's God's will, that this baby will be born in October and we can raise him up to be a soldier for Christ. Especially after the battle we went through to have him here, I want God to use him in might ways.
