"In the blink of an eye, everything can change. So forgive often and love with all your heart. You may never know when you may not have that chance again. "
Life changes....oh and how it does! It can take years, months, weeks, to even the tiniest second every thing you thought you knew about life can change. I have never realized that more than in the last few months. Before this year started, I was just something simple: a wife to my husband, a mother to my 3 year old child and one on the way, a normal daughter to my parents and an annoying sister to my sister (haha).
But on January 7th all that changed within a few hours, I was a mom praying for her child to be ok and at the time that's all that mattered.
A few hours later on January 8th, I was a grieving wife that didn't know if I wanted to live through this and having to lean on my husband, mother that had lost a child and wanting to cling to both my children, a scared daughter and sister who needed to be held together.
Man, even when you are going through it, the minutes that can change your life don't seem to be real. The feeling of standing there being helpless to help your own child is a feeling that no one can describe and I know that's the way God felt as Jesus hung on that cross. I would never wish that feeling on anyone.
If you think that your life can't change and it won't happen to you, you can take a step back just like I had to. I never ever thought I would be the mom sitting here at a computer sharing with people my experience with losing a child. If you had told me what my future held sometime last year, I would have thought you were crazy.
Yet, here I am. I am a wife who has to lean on her husband to get by some days, mother who grieves every day in some way for a child that I willl not know until I see him in Heaven, a mother that cherishes her time with her son that's living and gets upset at myself if I get upset with him, and a daughter and sister that tries to put on a smile.
It's hard every day and it's not a feeling that no one else has ever had, but let me tell you that every person deals with situations differently even if its the same situation. You don't know how you would handle the feelings that I've had unless you walked them with me in my body. My own husband has different feelings about some things and the experience was different for him in some ways because he's the father and men work different than women. Yes, he misses his child and it was his child the same as it was mine, but he has and will grieve different because that's how we are built. We went through the exact same thing but he has feelings to deal with that I may not understand, and vice versa.
The point is that when you stand there and criticize someone for the things they do or how they handle the things they are dealt. Just think. Have you ever stood in their steps, have you gone through what they have, have you been in their mind and thoughts?
I am the mother that has lost a child. Do I know other women that have lost a child, yes I do. But they will never know the exact way I thought and I will never know their thoughts. We may connect on some things, but ultimately we are different people and we will deal with things how we individually see fit.
Life changes...in a second, minute, hour....however long, it can happen so appreciate each second that you have and appreciate your life.
"You never know what God has in store, and you can make all the plans you want to. But at the end of the day, whatever's going to happen is going to happen."
