Mother's Day was a day of rejoicing for the son that I have that is growing into a little man and a day for me to reflect on the son that I don't have here to watch him grow. He would have been 4 months old and I would have been holding him in my arms. Instead I had to go to the cemetery and put some new flowers out for him. I know that my son was smiling as I cried there talking to him. It was one of the hardest days I've had in a while trying to control my emotions. As I pulled up to his grave I was overwhelmed at how pretty it was! The sun was shining through the trees and everything was so green. His grave is under two trees and they are beautiful. I cried just at the site because I had not been up there since March and nothing was blooming or green yet. We put his flowers in a small green tractor planter and put an owl birdfeeder on the shepherd's hook beside his grave. It turned out so cute! So boyish just like he would have been, just like his brother.
Oh how I missed him yesterday and thoughts that I will never get to celebrate Mother's Day with all my children physically but in a way he can warm my heart from the inside so I can feel loved in so many ways!
I spent the day with my mom and grandma and they are most of the reason that I can be the mom I am today because they taught me how to love. God has an unconditional love and I think that the closest thing to that here on earth is a mother's love.
So this is to the mothers that have children that are living, children that are sick, children that may have had a life of less than two weeks in your womb, children that were stillborn or too sick to move on, or anyway that they came into this world, be thankful for the chance to be a mother cause some women do not get the oppurtunity to bear children or watch their children grow. Please love them unconditionally just as God would!
A mother is she who can take the place of all others, but whose place no one else can take.
Mothers hold their children's hands for a little while, but their hearts forever.
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