The autopsy

The day finally came that we could talk to the NICU doctor about our sweet baby and the things that had caused his death. I was more emotional than I had anticipated. We got there and she took us to a conference room, we sat down to talk and she confirmed the diagnosis of CMV.
CMV is the virus most frequently passed on to babies during pregnancy. It is transmitted via body secretions, such as saliva, etc. It is especially common in daycares and around small children. 
10 to 15 percent of newborns infected with CMV in the womb have serious complications that are present at birth, such as central nervous system abnormalities, growth restriction, an unusually small head, an enlarged spleen and liver, jaundice, and a rash caused by bleeding underneath the skin. Some of these babies die. And up to 90 percent of the survivors end up with serious long-term health problems, which may include hearing loss, visual impairment, mental retardation, and other neurological problems.
Our baby was among the small percent that die from this. He had the fluid and mildly enlarged organs. The autopsy also revealed that a small flap (called the foramen ovale) that is supposed to close after birth after a few days was already closed off. It is supposed to close off days after birth because they don't need the flap to operate anymore once they breathe oxygen and need the blood to go to their lungs. It is what helps bypass the lungs when they are in utero. 
This virus is so scary because the vast majority of women have no idea they have contracted unless they end up being tested for it for some reason. It is not a routine test done during pregnancy. It is also like a silent killer. We never knew that the baby was sick until a few hours before birth. The only indication before that day at the hospital was that I was measuring a few weeks later according to my belly measurements and we believe that was from the placenta enlarging from the infection. 
My placenta had absorbed the virus and passed it to the baby and compromised the blood supply so it didn't have very many red or white blood cells, therefore his umbilical cord site was not able to clot. 
He had small red spots underneath his skin which is a almost sure sign of CMV also. 

He was such a sick baby and if nothing else comforts me, I am comforted in the fact that he didn't suffer long and he is with Jesus and will never know pain!