The little things

I'm finding as the days go on that I thought I would miss him the most on holidays and such times as that, but really it's the smallest things like watching Landon play, laughing with my husband, spending time with my parents and sister, and the sun shining on me as I'm enjoying the outdoors that I find myself longing for Lawson and wishing so bad that he were here on Earth with us to complete our little family. One of times I cry and talk to him the most is my drive to and from work. I am by myself so my mind is filled with thoughts of him and what we would be doing if he were here.
This weekend is Easter and as I got Landon ready for his Easter egg hunt and party at school this morning, I kept thinking that Landon would have loved to show his little brother his Easter eggs and talk to him. Landon is and would have been the greatest brother because he talks to his younger cousins so sweetly and is easy with them. This would have been Lawson's first Easter and would have been so fun dressing him and his brother as we would attend church on Sunday.
He would have been smiling at mommy and daddy now and learning new things everyday just as Landon did. I wish I could see his smile! I'm sure its the most beautiful thing. I can feel him smiling at me yesterday as I was sitting on our back porch and the sun was just gleaming down on me. It was the most wonderful feeling but always makes me cry. 
I know that God is taking such sweet care of my little one and he couldn't be happier, because God knew every minute of our little guy's life. I am certain of the happiness in my child's heart. Lawson was perfect as God knew exactly what he was doing even if we don't!

Psalm 139:13-16  For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from you,when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them.

 

James 1:17 Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father

 

I love these verses and they just reiterate the thoughts I have that God knew exactly what He was doing and I love the gift that He gave us if only for a short time, because he has and will always have a GIANT impact on my life for as long as I live until I get to see him again!!